Editor’s Note: Flora Nicholas is the Chief Executive Officer of Brainwave, Inc., and the author of many great posts on the Mad Woman Blog. The following post is from her blog and is reposted with permission.
Last week, the unemployment rate in America, went up by at least one, as Anthony Weiner finally did the decent thing — in my humble opinion any way — and resigned as a member of the US House of Representatives. Yes folks, Anthony Weiner is leaving the house to get his own house in order. Awesome!!
As Anthony will be considering his career options sometime soon, I would like to give him a few, helpful suggestions in my capacity of business and image adviser extraordinaire. So dear Anthony, put that blackberry down and listen up because here I go.
First of all, you should hang out your shingle – but absolutely nothing else whatsoever — and try to become a social media marketing consultant. As you probably know, this is a rapidly growing field and you do seem to have a natural talent for it.
You have already proven to the entire country that you know how to use Twitter and Facebook to devastating effect. And you could feasibly claim that with just one tweet you ensnared coverage of your credentials and positions on all the broadcast networks, every cable station known to man, and thousands of web sites all over the Internet.
So trust me, it wouldn’t take much to convince your former democratic colleagues that you would be an invaluable asset — as opposed to an ass-et —in the 2012 election campaign.
Given everything that you’ve recently learned about PR crises and how to manage them (after you mismanaged them), I also believe that you could pursue a very lucrative career in crisis communications consulting — of the political kind, of course. Your list of potential clients would be enormous and you could demonstrate your ability to work across party lines by counseling errant republicans and democrats alike.
Indeed, I am sure that Arnold Schwarzenegger, John Edwards, Chris Lee, and John Ensign would readily sign up as clients. You could charge them a fortune and advise them of the three most crucial things to do when the maid, videographer, picture, staffer or tweet hits the fan. (And as you know, those “things”, in no particular order are: 1. Fess up immediately, 2. Fess up immediately and 3. Fess up immediately.)
As you now have unbelievable name recognition, you could, if you prefer, seek a lucrative career as a spokesman for some of the most famous companies in the country. And although I don’t want to be one of those people who make fun of your name, really I don’t, you would be a natural spokesman for Oscar Mayer’s Wieners, Cockburn’s Port, Cox Communications, and yep, even Dick’s Sporting Goods. (Sorry, Anthony, I couldn’t resist, but you get the drift. There’s money to be made from the right brand endorsements, baby!)
Now, given your pre-scandal ease in front of the cameras, you should also absolutely consider a career in television. Consider this: CNN hired Elliot Spitzer even after he admitted using the services of call girls while he was attorney general and later governor of New York. So I’m sure that CNN, at the very least, and possibly NBC, ABC, and CBS would be very interested in you.
In fact, to be honest, I can easily see you being the host of a number of great current affairs shows — including Anthony Weiner 180, Hard Face the Nation, Dateline with Anthony Weiner, or even This Week With a Guy Who Needs a Job When Christiane Amanpour Has a Day Off.
And before I forget, please, please, please don’t rule out an acting career either. In the last three weeks, you have after all demonstrated the ability to deliver the most fictional lines — “I did not send that tweet”, “My system was hacked”, and “I was pranked” — without batting an eyelid. So if a casting call goes out for HBO’s “ In Treatment” series” throw your hat (or should that be your underpants) into the ring and keep your fingers crossed that they need an actor to play the role of a sexty — I said “sexty” not “sexy” — politician.
But when all is said and done, the best career advice I can give you dear Anthony, is to
keep a low profile for the next few years and run for Republican David Vitter’s Senate seat in Louisiana in 2016. As you know, in 2007 Senator David Vitter confessed, with his poor wife standing alongside him, that he had used the services of a prostitution ring on several occasions back in the late 1990s. Not only did Vitter survive the scandal, but he was actually re-elected— yep re-elected!!— to the Senate in 2010 by his constituents.
So Anthony, as you consider your future career options, please take note: No matter how much of an ass you are, there is always room in politics for a weiner.